Last week a transient powerboat named FLOATING “DOC” III pulled onto the T next to my slip. The owner was a nice enough fellow, but the name reminded me how much I dislike pun boat names (and sports headlines.)  And to think, he had owned two other FLOATING “DOC”s.

The rise of the pithy pun names, to say nothing of alliterative names, took off in the 1990s. Up until then, the top 30 boat names contained no puns, according to the US Coast Guard certificate of certification database. Among nineties boats, however, SEAS THE DAY crept in at number 25, well below CARPE DIEM.  (Translated into English, it means “seize the day,” which is what the pun is based on.)

To be sure, the database only includes a fraction of all recreational vessels but it is a pretty decent sample, even if it does probably skew to larger boats and doesn’t account for sinkings and renamings, among other things.

SEAS THE DAY was just the beginning. By the 2000s, the boozy HAPPY OURS and the medical KNOT ON CALL had joined it in the top 30 names.  The next decade saw WHY KNOT added to the top names and why not?

Around the same time, jokey, aspirational, foreign cultural references, and even pop culture and marketing slogans started showing up.

MILLER TIME, for example, was first used as part of an advertising campaign by the beer company in 1971. It first appears as the name of a few 1980s boats. It is now the 9th most popular name this decade, up more than 1,000 places.

Recent years have brought the 1-percenter LIQUID ASSET, ranked 19 among boats built in the oughts, the utterly perplexing WINE DOWN, ranked 21 this decade. The Seinfeldian  SERENITY NOW almost cracked the top 30. It was probably held back by the perennially popular SERENITY, which has the benefit of being fewer words while being less angry bald man and more bald Buddhist monk.

Today we see OHANA, a Hawaiian word for extended family and friends, and PURA VIDA, Spanish for pure life, among the more popular names for newer boats. Those two plus SILVER LINING, ISLAND TIME and FOREVER YOUNG are pushing down the popularity of old classics, such as OSPREY, ODYSSEY, and PEGASUS

The word Sea, however, seems to have captured the lacking imagination of boat owners: There is ECSTASEA, also spelled EGGS TA SEA and XTA-SEA. There is FANTASEA, NAUTI FANTASEA, WHIMSEA,  SEADATION,  SEADUCTRESS and VICTORIA’S SEACRET. There is the possible nerdy computer reference SEAQUEL and definitely nerdy reference SEA PLUS PLUS.  There is a possible double pun, PLANE TO SEA, as well as VITAMIN SEA, LUNA SEA, GYPSEA, O SEA D.

And just to add a final exclamation to it all, there is SEARENITY.

So what’s my boat naming confession?

I once named a boat control-alt-delete, which was a horrific name and even worse over the radio. We eventually gave up and just called her reboot.

Since then I have had a few other boats and kept the names they came with.

Calliope, a 36-foot S2 sloop, for example, was named for Zeus’ muse of epic poetry. She appealed to me, and so I kept the name. (She could also be named for the musical instrument of the same spelling, but I like the muse thing better.)

My current boat, a 54-foot Kaufman and Ladd designed ketch, is named Zennora, a name sometimes given to girls from the village of Zennor on the Cornish coast of England. According to the previous owners, they came to it after naming their first boat the Maid of Zennor, in honor of the mermaid who convinced Zennor’s parish priest to join her for all eternity in the treacherous waters of the Bristol Channel. I like that too.

I suppose those choices say something about me, which I will take up with my shrink. I am afraid for America and what these puns say about us.

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Here are the top 30 names by year of vessel construction:

Prior to 1970	1970s	1980s	1990s	2000s	2010s
GYPSY	SERENITY	SERENITY	SERENITY	ANDIAMO	SERENITY
OSPREY	OSPREY	SECOND WIND	ISLAND TIME	FREEDOM	ANDIAMO
SERENITY	FREEDOM	DESTINY	FREEDOM	SERENITY	SEAS THE DAY
WHISPER	MARIAH	OSPREY	DREAM CATCHER	HAPPY OURS	FREEDOM
ODYSSEY	SPIRIT	FREEDOM	TRAN-QUILITY	ISLAND TIME	OHANA
SANDPIPER	SANDPIPER	MORNING STAR	LEGACY	LIBERTY	GRACE
WANDERER	PEGASUS	LIBERTY	DESTINY	CARPE DIEM	LIBERTY
PEGASUS	SECOND WIND	OBSESSION	LIBERTY	BLUE MOON	RELENTLESS
DOLPHIN	FREE SPIRIT	SPIRIT	TIME OUT	SEAS THE DAY	HAPPY OURS
AQUARIUS	ODYSSEY	PEGASUS	ISLAND GIRL	BLACK PEARL	MILLER TIME
DESTINY	WINDSONG	ODYSSEY	SECOND WIND	LA DOLCE VITA	PURA VIDA
FREEDOM	HALCYON	GRACE	CARPE DIEM	PURA VIDA	BELLA VITA
WINDFALL	LIBERTY	DREAM CATCHER	DOUBLE TROUBLE	AT LAST	WHY KNOT
SPIRIT	HARMONY	ORION	ANDIAMO	ESCAPE	ORION
DULCINEA	AURORA	SEREN-DIPITY	AT LAST	KNOT ON CALL	ESCAPE
RAVEN	ARIEL	ESCAPE	ODYSSEY	SECOND WIND	SILVER LINING
QUEST	PHOENIX	ESCAPADE	GRACE	TIME OUT	ISLAND TIME
MORNING STAR	MAGIC	TRAN-QUILITY	ORION	BELLA VITA	BLUE MOON
ESCAPADE	MORNING STAR	BLUE MOON	COOL CHANGE	LIQUID ASSET	ENCORE
PHOENIX	ORION	MAGIC	GREAT ESCAPE	DREAM CATCHER	ZEPHYR
WINDSONG	PELICAN	VOYAGER	PARADISE	ODYSSEY	KNOT ON CALL
NEPENTHE	CHARISMA	ANDIAMO	ESCAPE	SUMMER WIND	OSPREY
AEOLUS	CAMELOT	SANDPIPER	ENDLESS SUMMER	LEGACY	FOREVER YOUNG
SHADOW	DESTINY	HALCYON	HAKUNA MATATA	IMAGINE	LAST CALL
SEA FEVER	QUEST	ZEPHYR	OBSESSION	SOUTHERN CROSS	WINE DOWN
HALCYON	AEOLUS	CHEERS	SPIRIT	ENDLESS SUMMER	BLACK PEARL
CALYPSO	SEREN-DIPITY	WHISPER	JOURNEY	SERENITY NOW	TRAN-QUILITY
SUNDANCE	PUFFIN	INTERLUDE	SEAS THE DAY	LIFE IS GOOD	LA BELLA VITA
EAGLE	SUNDANCE	SECOND CHANCE	BLUE MOON	SERENDIPITY	MY WAY
GEMINI	ANTARES	MARIAH	VOYAGER	RELENTLESS	BELLA
STARDUST	GRACE	AURORA	HAPPY OURS		AT EASE
RAINBOW		SUMMER WIND
		DULCINEA
		IMAGINE

Note: This data comes from the USCG and contains information on the names of about 40,000 recreational vessels. Because of ties, most decades contain more than 30 names.

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